Darth Vader

The past two nights I've been in the company of Darth Vader Baby. We're sharing a room since we're at my parents visiting, and let me say that sleeping with a baby who snores louder than my dad (think chainsaw) makes sleeping very difficult. Not to mention the possibly lethal levels of Vick's Vapo-rub particulates circulating throughout the room or the fact that humidity levels in there rivaled the rainforest. Let's just say I'm tired... Strethcy hasn't been sick yet (though I've supposed some days of not feeling so great to give her an excuse for being fussy 24/7), so the past couple days I've been the most paranoid mother on the face of the earth. Its probably a good thing that I'm here with my own mother to keep me grounded or we'd probably have been to every hospital in the state multiple times. ("What do you mean she's fine and just keep her elevated? Clearly she has brochitis or some other respitory disorder." "It's NOT pneumonia? Well then it must be whooping cough- those vaccines suck!!") Fortunately, Stretchy is still alive. She's clearly not a happy baby, but her condition looks like its not life threatening. Probably a good thing I didn't go to all those hospitals because now I'd feel like an idiot. Dear baby, Please get better soon. Mommy doesn't sleep well with a snoring baby next to her. Also, she's very tired from getting up every 10 minutes to check if you are breathing. Love, Mommy.

Oh, the Horror!!

Today was Stretchy's 2 month visit.  Three things happened during this visit that I wasn't expecting.

1. Stretchy was calm, collected and cool for almost the entire time.  She even smiled at the doctor and practiced coo-ing.  Awesome.

2.  She was not nearly as heavy as I thought and I lost the bet.  I thought she'd be at least 12lbs. by now.  Nope.  10lbs.14oz.  Which places her neatly in the 48th percentile.  Enjoy that while you can little Stretchy... if you've got any Mommy-genes in you, it won't last long...

3.  Watching your child as someone inflicts pain on them- in fact, pain which you have whole-heartedly signed up and asked for- is the most horrific thing that could happen to a person.  The cry that ensued as the injections were given was the saddest thing I've ever seen Stretchy do.  The red face, the un-ending wail... I may have even teared up a little.

The up-side to the vaccines?  Stretchy took a two-hour nap when we got home and I finished my Christmas wrapping.

The down-side?  Since she woke up from the above-mentioned nap, she's been trying to wear out her lungs.  It hasn't worked yet.

Dear Infant Triaminic,

Please work soon, or Mommy will have a nervous breakdown from not being able to comfort her child in any way.

Love,

Frazzled Mommy, Who in the Very Near Future, Might Break Down and Cry with Her Baby

Dear Baby,

I'm sure you're pretty attached to the "house" you've been living in for the last 9 months.  I mean, who wouldn't want to live in a comfy warm hot tub?  You don't have to worry about food, you can sleep whenever you want, you never have dirty diapers, no crazy ladies are pinching your cheeks telling you how cute you are...

We love you already, so don't take this the wrong way, but GET OUT.  Yes, it's loud and bright and cold and scary out here.  You'll have to cry to let us know you're hungry or wet or tired.  But it will be worth it.  There are great things out here like Daddy and toys and blankets and food you can taste.

So be a big girl, suck it up, and come out.  Or you're grounded.

Love,

Mommy