The Fun of a Visit to the Doctor in Germany

by MissKris

For any of you out there that have been to the OB/GYN, you know that this is not a particularly fun and/or eagerly anticipated event for any woman.  In fact, I believe the majority of us despise this visit.  It might be a tie with going to the dentist.

But really, when you think about it, what could possibly beat going to a pre-scheduled appointment where you wait in the waiting room 30 minutes past your scheduled appointment time, are ushered into a room where they weigh you, are told to strip down and re-dress in only a paper gown, wait another 15 minutes on a cold table in said paper gown, only to have a person you've met a handful of times in your life shove a cold, duck-shaped metal object in places you don't want things shoved?  I mean, what isn't fun about that? Right?

Well... let me tell you about something even MORE fun.  Doing the same thing, but in Germany-- where rules about nudity, privacy and cleanliness are something a little different... 

Imagine this... 

Not only do you arrive at the office and wait in the waiting room for 30-60 minutes, but before you are allowed to sit down you must use the WC (restroom) -- which is convieniently a one-room toilet with an old rickety door with a lock that works sometimes and is right across from the waiting room so everyone can hear ALL noises coming from with in -- and pee in a cup.  BUT, not just any cup; a small, white, plastic dixie cup with your name written on it in Sharpie.  Which, after filling you do not cover or leave in a special door in the wall, but on the back of the toilet alongside many other white plastic cups.  Really??

Then, after waiting your allotted time, you are weighed (ugh), get blood taken, blood pressure, etc. 

Then you wait some more.  Finally, you go to see the doctor, who asks you to kindly go into a small changing cabin and remove your shirt.  BUT, once in said changing cabin, you realize there is NO PAPER GOWN.  WHAT??  So you walk out of the cabin shirtless to be felt up by the doctor.  Fun. 

THEN, you are asked to put back on the shirt and remove the rest of your clothes.  Again... where is the paper skirt??  What is going on here?? 

Not only are there no skirts, but the office is on the first floor of a HOUSE, and even though the blinds are down, you can clearly see a man in the yard next door MOWING HIS LAWN.  REALLY??  And still, there comes the metal duck.

I must say that of all the things I will NOT miss about Germany, the visits to the doctor are right up at the top of my list.  I just want my paper clothes...